"Women Are Victims Too" & A Rant From Me

A shout out to a fellow blogger and intactivist who I have the pleasure of communicating with and with whom I share this fight against routine infant cutting.

Cathy publishes Women Are Victims Too. Here you can find stories of how circumcision affects more than just the man whose foreskin is removed.

Please take a moment and visit her blog and read the stories there.

Thinking about her idea for a blog has led me to have a series of thoughts which I'd like to share with you now, here.

Circumcision causes so much emotional damage to so many. It's time we really examined the far-reaching consequences of this "procedure" and think into the future of the man that baby boy will one day become. Circumcision will affect his sexual life as well as his wife or every partner he has, gay or straight. It is not for the parents to decide how a man's penis should be.

The missing foreskin can affect all areas of the man's life. Besides sexual, it will affect him emotionally as well. If his self-esteem is negatively impacted, it will affect how he goes through life. It's common knowledge how fond men are of their penis. Once he realizes a part of it is missing, and he can see only the scars left behind where his foreskin should be, this could potentially be very damaging to the man's psyche.

Deciding not to subject your baby to circumcision will literally help shape his life and the man he will become. What kind of lesson are you teaching a boy who is welcomed into this world only days after his birth with violence and pain? His trust is shattered. He is confused. He doesn't understand why he is experiencing this violation and he feels betrayed. These emotions can be lifelong and permanent.

These are not issues anyone should have to experience at this tender age. This is quite different than if the man chooses circumcision for himself. A man who is circumcised against his will as a baby is not anything like a grown man making a choice for himself with informed consent.

Please take a step back, away from cultural and religious pressure, and see this person for who he is and who he might become, and the right he has to a whole body and to make his own choices in life. He has the right to choose who he has sexual relations with, what religion (if any) he will follow, how he takes care of himself, where he lives, and what he does with his own body. No parent should take these choices away from their child.


RD said...

1930-80, many USA urban maternity wards circumcised every boy born in them, or at least every boy whose parents had health insurance, without asking the mother. A boy escaped the knife only if his mother raised the matter and objected. Mothers who did this were sometimes ridiculed, or told that an intact son would grow up to be a social and sexual outcaste.

Because mother was not involved, she did not know what to say to her cut son. And so nothing was said. The boys I grew up all seemed to assume that they were born with bald penises. We often had boyish lewd conversations, but circ and foreskin were NEVER joked about. I was 23 when I first heard of the ring scar. I never heard a human says "foreskin" until I met my wife at 37 years of age.

The upshot is that I was 24 when I first heard a man regret having been circumcised. But this same fellow also believed that routine circ was necessary to prevent smegma, which he deemed utterly disgusting.

I was very surprised to discover, upon reading Rosemary Romberg's book in 1985, that there are American men who are sad and very angry that they underwent RIC. I agree that these feelings are much more in the air nowadays, but I suspect that regretting one's circumcision is a side effect of the much greater openness and honesty about American RIC. And there is more and more talk on the internet that having all the moving parts makes sex more thrilling for both genders. If a cut man reads that and believes it, he may be in for a rough ride, emotionally speaking.

MoonPye said...

Unfortunately very true, RD. Thank you for your comment. Not only was circ done without parental consent but it was also accepted as "normal". Even my own husband, who was born in 1970, had no idea what he was mising and what that circle scar was until I told him, well past the age of 30. This should not happen to our men.

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